Christmas Decorations

I understand it's been awhile, but it has been an especially hard few weeks. So much goes on in my head it is hard to sort through it all. In fact starting with Thanksgiving it is the season of mixed feelings. There are happy things: Jerry's birthday; Christmas; Nico and Dan's birthdays; New years; seeing family. But along with all of it there are things that remind me of sad times, my grandmas death, being diagnosed with m.s. how difficult things get as far as decorating and all the business that I have to decide what to do. This year my cousins got married and that adds to the joy and the stress of the season.

Every year I have to give up more and more of the Christmas decorations. So for the first time I admitted defeat and called in some help. It was much better than I expected to have some well needed help decorate my home.

Every year except the first year we lived here I have put up less decorations than the year before. It is a combination of things really, I'm tired, it to hard and the simple movement of standing up and looking down makes me sick. Jerry likes the decorations but it is more a stress to him than fun so that makes it seem like a waste of time and energy. I just want Wesley and Wyatt to have that magical experience of Christmas that I had as a child. The lights and smells, watching Christmas special such as Emmet Otter's jug-band Christmas and Rodolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. But the fight about decorations and the amount of time spent is one more battle I have given into. It only reminds me of the things that I can't do anymore.

Even though things get harder and harder and the decorations get less and less. The magic in Wesley's eyes just gets bigger and bigger. He is so thankful for the tree and the mechanical ice skating rink. he doesn't care about the mess, or the work. He loves how beautiful the marbles (Christmas tree bulbs) look on the tree. That makes every candy cane and miniature light worth it. And this year we get to add Wyatt into the Christmas mix.  So even though the decorations get less and less the blessings just keep growing.