Multiple Scerosis (M.S.)Tattoo

I was a biology teacher. I loved science and wanted to share my passion with students to get them excited about science. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis early in 2009. The one major attack took place Christmas eve 2008, which was also my son’s first Christmas. M.S. has changed my life and I think for the better.  Most things have become more difficult reading writing and comprehension, walking and a slew of other things which has made teaching something I had to give up. But now I get to spend time at home with my two wonderful boys. I recently got a tattoo of a neuron. With the help of a image I found, my knowledge of M.S. and Biology, and a wonderful tattoo artist I thought this was a perfect tattoo for me. I think human cells are beutiful and show how God makes even the smallest part of us beautiful. It’s just a part of what makes me who I am and even though it will M.S. will always be a part of me it doesn’t define who I am and can be shown as a beautiful image that only adds to the strong person I am. We should embrace the diseases and hardships and wear them proudly. So here is the tattoo of my M.S. cell.

Christmas Decorations

I understand it's been awhile, but it has been an especially hard few weeks. So much goes on in my head it is hard to sort through it all. In fact starting with Thanksgiving it is the season of mixed feelings. There are happy things: Jerry's birthday; Christmas; Nico and Dan's birthdays; New years; seeing family. But along with all of it there are things that remind me of sad times, my grandmas death, being diagnosed with m.s. how difficult things get as far as decorating and all the business that I have to decide what to do. This year my cousins got married and that adds to the joy and the stress of the season.

Every year I have to give up more and more of the Christmas decorations. So for the first time I admitted defeat and called in some help. It was much better than I expected to have some well needed help decorate my home.

Every year except the first year we lived here I have put up less decorations than the year before. It is a combination of things really, I'm tired, it to hard and the simple movement of standing up and looking down makes me sick. Jerry likes the decorations but it is more a stress to him than fun so that makes it seem like a waste of time and energy. I just want Wesley and Wyatt to have that magical experience of Christmas that I had as a child. The lights and smells, watching Christmas special such as Emmet Otter's jug-band Christmas and Rodolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. But the fight about decorations and the amount of time spent is one more battle I have given into. It only reminds me of the things that I can't do anymore.

Even though things get harder and harder and the decorations get less and less. The magic in Wesley's eyes just gets bigger and bigger. He is so thankful for the tree and the mechanical ice skating rink. he doesn't care about the mess, or the work. He loves how beautiful the marbles (Christmas tree bulbs) look on the tree. That makes every candy cane and miniature light worth it. And this year we get to add Wyatt into the Christmas mix.  So even though the decorations get less and less the blessings just keep growing.

It's been a hard week. Between daily trips to the hospital over the last week, decreasing strenth in my legs and the holidays. I'm just tired. On the upside, it looks like my teachers disablity might go through. That is good right? I wish I could still work. I want to use the education and experiance I have. I enjoyed school, and learning, I hate how it turned into such a difficult thing. I always thought I would make a huge differnce in the lives of others. I need to be content in just making the lives of those around me better.

Early wake up call

Nothing has been going on over the past couple of days. I'm tired and not really in a good mood. I fell again today. That makes things hard. Like one big reminder to always think about what I'm doing. It's exhausting. I'm o.k. if I was going to fall in the bedroom is a good place. I landed on a pillow. See I knew there was a reason I don't keep them on the bed.

The doctor called today to let me know that I tested positive for a common virus. So that means I can't take the medicine I was hoping to start. Nothing starts off the week like an early morning call from the neurologist.

The Christmas List: Chainsaw

Seriously I can not catch even a little break. I want to thank the little boy from preschool who brought in the toy chainsaw for show and tell. Wesley wants a chainsaw for Christmas, which I'm seriously considering. Especially after he told me he would be "rearry rearry careful and not cut himself, he wants the kind that cuts wood like rrrrrrrr... rrrr......"

 I should know better than to let Wesley pick his own Christmas present, last year he wanted a $400.00 Kenix Roller coaster, that "Santa" had to stay up all night and put together. Because, "Santa" did not listen to his wife, who told him weeks in advance to start putting it together. Since the person that gave it to them, told Mrs. Claus specifically, it took her adult daughter 3 days to put together. I should know not to ask, but with Christmas coming, two weeks ago in the car....... I did it.

 "Wes, honey what do you want for Christmas?" His response, "You know a wood cutter thing." It cuts trees and goes RRRrrr... Rrrr... and goes round and round? You know what I'm talkn bout mommy?" Well of course my response was No, your not getting a circular saw. He quickly responded "no, it has a long handle and cuts like this" then he made a chopping movement with his hands. "Ohh, you mean a chain saw." Yeahhh he says, " Don't worry mommy I'll be rearry rearry careful and not cut himself." In that case, I'll talk to Santa about maybe getting a toy chainsaw only. Then he insisted to talk to Santa himself.

I might as well let Wesley run around the house with sharp knives, then walk up the wooden steps with roller skates on so he can eat hot dogs that are not precut into non- chokeable pieces while watching something really violent on t.v.

I have been trying for two weeks to find an alternative to a real chainsaw. And Now..... just my luck, my neighbor is getting his tree cut down as we speak. The excitement in Wesley's eyes while screaming through the house "come see mommy, come see" "That's what I was talkn bout mommy, I want that kind of chainsaw." Of course, of course he does. What three year old boy doesn't want a real chain saw.
 
I should be happy for the free, cableless real world entertainment... Wait, just remembered we're paying for half the tree to be cut down. Yep, not even free.

Family, you got to love them!

I am feeling much better today, so that naturally means I'm feeling bad about complaining so much. It must be my napping, like I said if I got some good sleep I think I would feel much better. So I'm going to talk about my family, what better way to start out the morning than thinking about those you love.

I realize that I have friends and family that love me. I even have been making new friends by joining a club for women NOT from Alliance. I love it. I have been on a month hiatus from seeing them due to medical problems I've been having. But hope they forgive me. It has been so nice talking to women like me not from the area. It's so dorky, and so much fun. I'm part of a club and I love it.

I also realize that my crazy family, yes they are all indisputably crazy, allow they would probally use the wourd exciting to decribe themselves. My family and friends are the reason I am a strong, attractive, wonderful person. I think it goes all the way back to my ancestry, we are good looking people. Not, the crazy part. Well maybe, we don't really talk about it. In fact;  there is a good chance I might get disowned, yet agian, for even writing this.....

I have a mom and a dad, so far genetically necessary to actually exist, I guess I don't need to mention that specifically. My mom sometimes has to wear and eye  patch and works on a psychiatric ward at a hospital. That alone makes me laugh especially seeing it in print. Hahahaha

My dad is attractive Hungarian man with a awesome tan and green eyes. Just ask any one of my friends. He re-married an awesome new wife. She's young and smart and cute. Honest and well spoken. Quite frankly I ask myself, Why she would want to be a part if my crazy family?

I have a brother and a sister from both my parent together; a sister from my mom; and a sister and a brother from my dad. That is a total of 3 sisters and 2 brothers. It actually took me a minute to figure out the math, so good luck to all of you.

Now my oldest sister, younger than me because I'm the oldest, has three kids the same age as my dad's children.  She originally had my nephew while in high school. That gave my mom a heart attack.  Yes it really does happen. And now is married to a grumpy Italian, with two other awesome kids. she has 2 boys and a girl. Wesley, my son, and Nico, her son,  are the same age and best buddies.

My oldest brother is now a self proclaimed "Renaissance man". Now, How does one become a "Renaissance Man" you can ask him or read about it when he publishes his book. "How to become a Renaissance man." Hahahaha I tease him by asking him to let me know how this search on becoming a modern renansance man goes when he has his first baby in May. He is getting a Masters in Nursing, works at very nice hospital. Now he changed his last name because he did not want to be Dr. Pitlik. Growing up with a last name that is easy to act out in game of charades, is difficult, but who changes their last name?  Yeah, my brother.

Now, we can't forget the in laws. Everything my family lacks as far as excitement and abnormal, my in-laws make up for. I often tease Jody, my sister-in-law. I like having her around because she has just as many family issues as me and they are all different from mine. But those stories are for her to tell, or me to tell if she says it's o.k.

So that's us, immediate family, in a very brief nut shell. Did you follow?

God how I love my family they make me laugh and seeing this very, very  brief description of them all together on one page makes me so happy inside......... Even my mom Pirate Cindy... RRRrrrrrrrr

To Nap or not to Nap?

Jerry had to work early again today 6 a.m. Wesley had preschool at 9, Wyatt a doctor Apt. at 9:30,  I had to meet with the title agency for our house refinancing at the Pro football Hall of Fame at 11, Pick Wes up from school when I was done in Canton. Then go to the bank.

I remembered I forgot to take my medicine on the way to the doctor. Since I was running late, there was no time to turn back. A day with out adderall, and Prozac ,Great. Thing are looking up.

Wyatt had his 6 month check up, plus a cold. Wyatt is 75% height and weight. I make big cute, smart babies. What can I say, I'm blessed. The doctor's exact words were when looking him over  were "my, he's being lazy".  I'm sure she ment "How athletic, look at the hand eye corridation he has" when trying to pull him up as he was swatting and laughing at her attempts to lift the cubby baby up.

But of course what I heard was "What an amazing awesome baby".  Not " My, how much are you feeding him?" When telling her how much he eats, I left out the part where he tries to eat the cat. After a nice check up and so samples of baby formlua, always a bonus. She called in some antibiotics for him and Wes, and I was on my way.

I had to get those from the pharmacy, Canton, then the bank. Well, thanks to Jerry and the fact that the doctor didn't call in the script yet,  I was able to skip the pharmacy.

And hour at the Hall signing papers, then to the bank. I have a brilliant idea about trading coins for melt value, (will elaborate later if it works). So 50 lbs. in coins later from two banks, I was on my way home.

At this point I decided either update my blog or nap. I'll let you guess which one I picked.